Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in tahloran's LiveJournal:

Thursday, April 28th, 2005
11:52 pm	Weird Day, but not so bad. Ok, today did not start off well. Woke up coughing with a headache (nothig unusual there atm, Lord I will be so happy when I am well.) Cracked my head in the shower. (add one goose egg)I made it to the last Lab class only to pretty much FLAG the exam. (Man, you have got to love that one). Sinjun is MIA with all the gaming information this year yet again and I am scrambing to clean it all up...again. All this and I still haven't been able to get ahold of Becky to give her the voice actors and convention info to help make contacts at Anime Boston for me. All that said...I talked to Andi today (Major mood helper number one!), I took Jadbalja to the vet. Puppy has a clean bill of health and now weighs a wopping 35lbs. I got to finally get a reply to some needed convention info. And Erica called me, just cause. (yeah, that made a brother smile)...weird day, but not so bad. Some days you just have to count your blessings and be glad you woke up. BRAND NEW DAY -Sting How many of you people out there Been hurt in some kind of love affair? And how many times did you swear That you'd never love again? How many lonely, sleepless nights? How many lies, how many fights? And why would you want to Put yourself through all of that again? "Love is pain," I hear you say Love has a cruel and bitter way of Paying you back for all the faith you ever had in your brain How could it be that what you need the most Can leave you feeling just like a ghost? You never want to feel so sad and lost again One day you could be looking Through an old book in rainy weather You see a picture of her smiling at you When you were still together Or you could be walking down the street And who should you chance to meet But that same old smile you've been thinking of all day? Why don't we turn the clock to zero, honey I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money We're starting up a brand new day Turn the clock all the way back I wonder if she'll take me back I'm thinking in a brand new way Turn the clock to zero, sister You'll never know how much I missed her I'm starting up a brand new day Turn the clock to zero, boss The river's wide, we'll swim across We’re starting up a brand new day It could happen to you, Just like it happened to me, There's simply no immunity There's no guarantee. I say love's such a force if you find yourself in it You need some time for reflection You say, baby wait a minute, wait a minute Wait a minute, wait a minute Wait a minute, wait a minute Turn the clock to zero, honey I'll sell the stock, we'll spend all the money We're starting up a brand new day Turn the clock to zero, Mac I'm begging her to take me back I'm thinking in a brand new way Turn the clock to zero, boss The river's wide, we'll swim across We're starting up a brand new day Turn the clock to zero buddy Don't wanna be no fuddy duddy Started up a brand new day I'm the rhythm in your tune I'm the sun and you're the moon I'm the bat and you're the cave You're the beach and I'm the wave I’m the plow and you’re the land You're the glove and I'm the hand I'm the train and you're the station I'm a flagpole to your nation - yeah Stand up all you lovers in the world Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl Stand up all you lovers in the world Starting up a brand new day I'm the present to your future You're the wound and I'm the suture You're the magnet to my pole I'm the devil in your soul You're the pupil I'm the teacher You're the church and I'm the preacher You're the flower I'm the rain You're the tunnel I'm the train Stand up all you lovers in the world Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl Stand up all you lovers in the world Starting up a brand new day You're the crop to my rotation You're the sum of my equation I'm the answer to your question If you follow my suggestion We can turn this ship around We'll go up instead of down You're the pan and I'm the handle You're the flame and I'm the candle Stand up all you lovers in the world Stand up and be counted every boy and every girl Stand up all you lovers in the world We're starting up a brand new day Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 21st, 2005
3:19 pm	And this too shall pass... I wasn't going to post to this stupid thing... I have been sick, really sick and am just getting the wonderful confirmation of how sick. Two days ago I nearly killed myself in my car on the way to school. It took one coughing fit that turned into full on vomiting and my car was all over the freeway. I have never been scared for my life before. I was Tuesday. My Chest x-rays came back positive, I have had pneumonia the past month. Part of one lung is collapsed and plus I cracked a rib coughing. If I had insurance I would have probably been in the hostpital. Breathing hurts like hell, I am miserable and nothing seems to be going right. I had to go ask my painting instructor to give me a "I" because I can't be around the paint and turpintine...there goes my 3.78gpa. I can't make Anime Boston, no money and I am too sick. Which means I can't do anything for the con, I can't get a break from the bad semester and I can't see Erica or anyone else from out there. What do I have to look forward to? A fucking final exam in biology and $500+ in medical bills. Trying to find Sinjun, who has gone MIA again this year when we need him Dealing with people being petty on AD over rp shit Playing catch-up with all the convention stuff that is late Being dissed by people I care about $485 repair bill on my car Trying to figure out why I don't just give up... Current Mood: depressed (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 1st, 2005
12:45 pm	ACK! Ok, day 4 of a nasty chest cold. I am coughing so hard it hurts and the stuff that is coming up...ewww...Doctor will not see me before Weds. I went over to see my mom, her being a RN and all. Her advise after checking me over is that I am not infectious anymore (fever non existant), but to park my hiney in bed for the weekend. Its sounding like a really good idea. I talked to Erica this week. She sounded pretty happy, *C* just irritated over game stuff. Its nice to hear her like that. Miss talking to her more, but she needs her time. Also spoke with Andi...*BFG* made my day. She is handling Theresa well online and running good plot stuff. Hope she keeps having fun. I am looking forward to seeing her at Origins. Well, that's all there is...time to go feed Jadbalja. Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Monday, March 28th, 2005
12:22 am	just today Well, its oh my goodness, its over time. I just came back from my in-laws for the holiday. Its was Ok I guess. I never really feel at ease when I am up there, no matter how I try. Its just not my world. I missed my mom today, a lot. Kind of childish when you think about it at my age, but I did. The thing that made it cool was watching Gabby collect Easter eggs with the other kids after church and the fact that we took the new puppy with us. The little furball was the center of attention all day. That helped. I also realized that I am getting a bit of a chest cold. I'm gonna spend some serious time getting rid of it. I don't want anything messing up my time at Anime Boston. Ever been kinda dumb about something really important to you? Yeah,I know we all have. I think I did a something dumb and its gonna kick me for a while in a place that hurts. Only thing is, I am a dumb man and am just now realizing what I did. *takes another shot with the hammer* I just hope it doesn't mess things up for good. I also came to the conclusion that I need to not be so nice to folks all the time. A bit of temper or at least saying what is on my mind a bit more often would have solved a lot of what is wrong now. *shrugs* Enough with the wallowing in self pity bit. I think I am gonna go play with Jadbalja. Current Mood: sleepy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
12:18 am	I am gettiing a puppy. he is beautiful black and white Malamute...naming him Jadbalja, after the golden lion in the Tarzan books. http://www.geocities.com/knightmute.geo/ For his kennel and lineage Current Mood: hyper (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 19th, 2005
10:43 am	Girls...err...women After lengthy thought, I have come to a conclusion. Women were created for the sole purpose of causing insanity in men. I have only 4 people in my life that can make me utterly insane, this of course discounts my mother from the equation. (she being the only non-insanity inducing woman on earth, by virtue of me being her son) The others are all people I love, including my daughter. It has taken me 35 years to realize that I am not supposed to figure them out, I am just supposed to go with it and if I love them, love them anyway. With one, I am trying and tired...not sure where that is going anymore. The next, well, that is Gabby. (nuff said) The remaining two are my heart and soul so I don't see spending my life without them in it. They confuse me, confound me and amaze me all at once. "Makes me wish I could do a lot over in my life." Oi, if that doesn't sound like mid-life crisis coming on...maybe they aren't the ones who are made to cause insanity. Now, there are others vying for my attention *shudders* lost causes in some cases.I get my ass kicked online about the JGS (jealous girlfriend syndrome) almost nightly. I enjoy hanging with some of them, but others just push too hard and one quite frankly makes me a bit uneasy. Well, enough rantin' I need to clean up and run a game. Current Mood: contemplative (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 18th, 2005
11:02 am	average 89 Ok, how do you take a bowling class and have your average go DOWN? Bowled like shit today average normally 120 today I bowled a 89...ummmmmm, ain't I great? Another fight with D last night added to my wonderful life/school stress at the end. We are still stuck on stupid as she tries to get me to move to Grass Lake. Not that it will ever happen, just the idea of it...oi. We have talked about a seperation of some kind off and on, it could happen this time. I will just have to wait and see. Mrs. Boyce is gone. The poor old lady finally had a complete breakdown and her family put her in a home. I feel horrible for her, the kids never really came to spend any time with her and she was alone way too often. I made sure to call my mom and take her out. I never want her or my dad to feel like that. Ever. My mom's first question after we got the confrimation that Mrs. Boyce wasn't coming back was if Erica still needed a place. *frowns* Irony is a bitch, isn't it? I told her I don't know, she has a lot to handle and plan for so I don't know. $425/month is enough to tempt me to take the lower half of the flat myself. I dunno, not worth mentioning. She has enough on her plate. I hope she and the baby just stay healthy. On the subject of Erica, I talked to Fred the other night. He still misses her, though I don't think they are talking. "the girlfriend you didn't know you have." is how we put the sensation of missing her. Uncanny how she can get under your skin and live there. Its her superpower, he said. And we love her for it. Convention stuff is going so-so as the month progresses. I got the bio stuff from Johnny Bosch and from Dwayne McDuffie, but still no word from the other two guests and time is a tickin'. I still need event info from Sinjun and need to know how the contacts are going on from last year with the gameing manufacturers. This is year two that people losing work and stuff is making me crazy and this year Steve is on strike on me as well. I feel like its only me and Irving working on this. I need a hug. I am behind in my jewelry making class, yep its in my major and I have a C right now...first grade under B+ since I started back...this is sucking. I have a couple of projects due, one I need to get finished before Anime Boston. Talked to Andi the other night, only bright spot in an otherwise drab day. Hopes Anime Boston is better than last trip out. Need the break and time with friends. Current Mood: curious (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 17th, 2005
11:29 pm	Your shoes Today, I stumbled across your shoes. You left them with me the last time you came I stared at them prepared to give them a kick tne it hit me a little memory just a little one a smile and a laugh a kiss in a place only you know about some shared funny moment just looking at your shoes Today I had your fun recalled I hit my big toe and nearly fell on my head I was lost in the maddness of your temper I had to laugh at the pink running up your neck a huff and a turn a blink and a voice exploding Today I found your shoes next to my bed that just made me sigh I had to look back to remember a stolen moment alone a day spent as lovers on a couch a private laugh trying not to get caught being accused of being monkeys Today I found a sweet little reminder of you... They say you leave something of yourself someplace you want to come back to. You leave them with someone you care about I hope you come back soon... for your shoes. Current Mood: contemplative (3 Comments |Comment on this)
11:14 pm	New Day and New Song (He:) There I go, there I go, there I go There I go.. Pretty baby, you are the soul who snaps my control Such a funny thing but every time you’re near me I never can behave You give me a smile and then I’m wrapped up in your magic There’s music all around me, crazy music Music that keeps calling me so very close to you Turns me your slave Come and do with me any little thing you want to Anything baby, just let me get next to you Am I insane or do I really see heaven in your eyes? Bright as stars that shine up above you in the clear blue skies How I worry about you Just can’t live my life without you Baby come here, don’t have no fear Oh, is there a wonder why I’m really feeling in the mood for love? So tell me why stop to think About this weather, my dear? This little dream might fade away There I go talking out of my head again, oh baby Won’t you come and put our two hearts together? That would make me strong and brave Oh when we are one, I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid If there’s a cloud up above us Go on and let it rain I’m sure our love together will endure a hurricane Oh my baby Won’t you please let me love you And give a relief from this awful misery? (She:) What is all this talk about loving me, my sweet? I am not afraid, not anymore, not like before Can’t you understand me? Now baby, please pull yourself together, do it soon My soul’s on fire, come on and take me I’ll be what you make me, my darling, my sweet (He:) Oh baby, you make me feel so good Let me take you by the hand Come let us visit out there In that new promised land Maybe there we can find A good place to use a loving state of mind I’m so tired of being without And never knowing what love’s about... "Moody's Mood For Love" Eddie Jefferson Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
1:14 pm	My song... Have just so much on my mind as of late. Not sure how to feel about a lot of things and trying to make some major decisions about my life. Have people that care about me and some I care about more than I realized until recently. Just want to close my eyes as of late and make things go away. Be still my beating heart It would be better to be cool It's not time to be open just yet A lesson once learned is so hard to forget Be still my beating heart Or I'll be taken for a fool It's not healthy to run at this pace The blood runs so red to my face I've been to every single book I know To soothe the thoughts that plague me so I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion Stop before you start Be still my beating heart Restore my broken dreams Shattered like a falling glass I'm not ready to be broken just yet A lesson once learned is so hard to forget Be still my beating heart You must learn to stand your ground It's not healthy to run at this pace The blood runs so red to my face I've been to every single book I know To soothe the thoughts that plague me so Stop before you start Be still my beating heart Never to be wrong Never to make promises that break It's like singing in the wind Or writing on the surface of a lake And I wriggle like a fish caught on dry land Struggle to avoid any help at hand I sink like a stone that's been thrown in the ocean My logic has drowned in a sea of emotion Stop before you start Be still my beating heart. "Be Still My Beating Heart" Sting Current Mood: melancholy (Comment on this)
12:37 pm	and why am I doing this crazy thing Now, I always said that this was a bad idea. You know putting your thoughts out there online. If for nothing else, it kinda lets peole know stuff that is volatile. Stuff that could really blow up in your face. Well I'm coming to the realization that somethimes you want your friends or loved ones to know what is going on and don't know how to tell them. Soooooo...that brings me to this. I hope it doesn't mean I have finally gone nuts. Current Mood: frustrated (3 Comments |Comment on this)